Neblog Archives
It's more of the archives for the Neblog. I.e. stuff too old to be
on the main page.
Get it? 
Sunday, March 27th, 2005
Currently playing: Jonathan J. "Jack" Schitt.
Now playing: The Grandstand theme tune. Classics never die.
Monday, I weren't at college due to holiday and I weren't at scrabble due
to this little thing called the Last Word, which is still monopolising my
time. 
Worked my arse off getting together all the articles for the magazine and
the bastard's over-run by seven pages!
Fucked man, truly
fucked.
Tuesday, though, I turned twenty-two years of age!
Got a wad
of cash and a new printer, and the realisation that once you pass 21,
birthdays become shite.
Ah well,
at least money is flowing inwards now from multiple sources. Also on
Tuesday I bought myself the entire series of Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights-
and quickly became addicted to it- and the entire series of
Thunderbirds... from HMV... for £15.92!
They're
selling off individual volumes of four episodes each for £1.99. Best
fucking bargain ever and well deserving of a plug on the Neblog (something
I never do, that's how top HMV are).
Wednesday, yes, back in the call centre- the call centre had completely
changed. Aside from Lucie, my boss, I didn't recognise anyone, although I
did recognise the universal hatred for the hairdressers, who have not
changed, and are as retarded as ever. Also, the call centre are in charge
of issuing licence codes to them- meaning I got out while the getting was
good!
Ain't no fucking way I will willing re-reg a hairdresser, unless they are
bound, gagged and lobotomised first.
Thursday, same thing. Not been sold anything by Lord Ashley yet, though,
which is a little strange (He was the one what gave me "the deal").
Friday, being off work, I slob around, do more work on the Last Word and
watch more Peter Kay. Productivity!
In the
evening, I went out boozing with the lads to celebrate my birthday- and I
managed to win no less than six games of pool- all through the lads
cocking up big-time. "And Nick has potted the black to win the game... and
Nick has potted the white to lose the game.
" Did
manage to cannon in about four in a row- on more than one occasion- while
under the influence of four pints and a double JD, though, so never let it
be said that alcohol impairs your judgement!
Rest of
the evening got a bit fuzzy for an hour- Evil Matt's kebab, my nearly
atrophying bladder and a confusing cryptic text to Stew Holden stood out,
though. Got home about 3 O'Clock, so all in all, a fun night!
They
could've at least got me a card, though...
Saturday, working in newsagents. Don't forget that I don't suffer from
hangovers- like, ever- so I'm fine to work any time. Fortunately, the time
in question was 11:30am.
Had a few
more old wankers in there ("wanker" has now completely replaced the word
"customer" in my mind), but it's to be expected.
Today, Easter!
Church
(great stuff as the kids held an easter egg hunt while the priest was
giving the sermon- and when it died down a little, the priest held up a
sign saying "look in the font". Great stuff.
),
followed by work, followed by the rest of Peter Kay. Smashing!
#1 Thought of the Day
Christ is risen. In short, 'ave it you pagan pillocks,
wiccan wankers etc.
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
My
Nan passed away on Friday evening, not too sure about the exact time. She
was 85 and had been ill for a while, but it still came as quite a shock
when Mum told me about it on Saturday morning. As you might imagine I have
sort-of stumbled my way through the weekend- working a vast amount of it
with that woman I mentioned a few months ago that made my homicidal with
rage, which didn't help- and haven't been online much as a consequence.
I won't attempt to write a decent eulogy here- I'm crap at them anyhow-
just to say that she was always there for her grandsons, and that she'll
be sorely missed by her whole family.
Normal neblog service to be resumed next week, don't worry.
#1 Thought of the Day
They'd better be treating her alright in heaven...
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
Currently Playing: Status Quo "Rockin' all over the World" When it comes
down to it, you simply cannot beat a bit of Quo.
I said normal service would be resumed and I damn well meant it. One thing
my Nan hated was people moping around.
Monday, though, following exhausting myself at work, I had an absolute
'mare at Scrabble Club- narrowly lost to Gerard in an A league game which
did me no good whatsoever, then promptly lost to Geoff Cooper in an
A league game (after beating him in about five friendlies last year) in a
game where I was doing all I can not to pass out on the table. Seriously,
that room had been pretty much drained of air at that point, it was so
stuffy in there. Tomorrow, I play three top players from the Melton
Mowbray club- including one Mr. Michael Z. O'Rourke, with whom I have a
date in the LEST...
The
second I get in there, first thing I do I open the windows. I'm not
fucking well suffocating again.
Tuesday- work- crap.
Wednesday- work- crapper. I really do not have any new anecdotes that top
any of the earlier ones (see September 2004 backwards for some really,
really classic ones, mostly pertaining to hairdressers and callers who
begin conversations with "hello thank you how are you?"
).
However, today I did start an epic email conversation with a member of
support who, after being so wowed by my awesomeness, decided to join the
N-world forums. I suggest you do the same thing, it
is much more wholesome than most other pursuits.
Fucked!
Thursday, same old, same old.
Friday was pretty much the same thing only I got away from the call centre
£225 richer, following about £180-odd the previous week.
Saturday, working in the newsagents with headache woman once again, and I
have discovered that the amount of employees who can tolerate her is a
big, fat ZERO. Yep, she is universally hated and decried!
Saturday also saw two brilliant occurrences at the shop (brilliant being a
negative word in this sense). First off, our lottery ticket printer goes
down the shitter, taking with it 80% of our income.
Not good,
and entertaining when people thought it meant that the entire lottery
network was down as well.
Secondly, someone comes in and buys one of these Rustlers hamburgers
(don't try them, honestly, they're the burger equivalent of pot noodles-
not good). This I have no problem with, but when they ask if there's a
microwave in the back which they can use to heat it up, it really starts
to take the piss. I honestly felt like saying "Mate, this is a newsagents,
not a fucking canteen. Do you go into Asda's, buy some eggs, and ask to
fry them there and then? No. So piss off."
Did get a
perverse satisfaction out of telling a queue-jumping chav to "wait his
turn", though.
And he
did!!! Quietly and with no complaints!!!
Sunday, fuck me if someone doesn't ask the very same question about the
microwave. If it happens a third time, out come the big guns.
My Nan's funeral has been set for April 18th, a week on Monday- obviously
meaning no college that day (I can catch up) and no scrabble (ditto).
probably a subdued Neblog entry the day before too but I'll be sure to try
to nobbler someone along the way.
#1 Thought of the Day
'Ave it!
Sunday, April 17th, 2005
Currently Playing: Fahnn "Infector"
because Fahnn improves your
digestive system.
(The guy
on the second link is the Fahnn guy, for real!
I don't
know why I sound so impressed about that when he collapsed half-drunk (at
best) on my living room floor not three months ago.
)
Monday, following college, and a couple of boring and pointless lectures,
I tromped on up to Scrabble Club to face an absolute Scrabble grilling
from three of the Melton Club heavyweights, namely Mike O'Rourke (rated
157), 1987 Countdown champion Steve Balment (rated 153) and Nuala
O'Rourke, wife of Mike (rated 159).
Kicked off with a 70-point loss against Mike- a double-blanked bonus from
him didn't help- which doesn't exactly bode well for our upcoming
LEST match at the end of May (by which time I should've had ample time to
prepare and study, though). Left me feeling a little worried going into my
game against Steve.
...Which I promptly won 546-298.
Would've
been higher had I not missed MILTERS as a bonus (or, rather, passed it up
) but a
slot-in play that would make even that miserable git Stewart Holden smile
more than made up for it.
ANTACID
for 82 (while already about 200 up) also made me very happy. As did my
subsequent 399-379 win over Nuala, to take me to 2-1 against much
higher-rated opposition! If it were rated, yet again I would have risen in
the rankings.
Not
playing tomorrow for obvious reasons but looking forward to a fortnight
from now, I feel Scrabbly rejuvenated again.
Tuesday, had a long-awaited day off in which I did absolutely jack shit,
and enjoyed every second of it.
More of
the same, please!
Wednesday, were teaching practice again, and absolutely
fucked my knees up. Ever noticed the
difference in height between a 22-year old Nebagram and a 7-year old
schoolkid? Bloody murder, mate.
They're
all pretty nice kids, though, so I'm not having much problems with them,
looking forward to the block placement at the end of next week. Or,
rather, the back of it. Why they gave us the placement in the middle of
our completing assignments/presentations and revising for exams is really
anyone's guess.
Thursday in maths, after delighting everyone with my scrotum (you heard),
settled down to do more on functions and graphs, the most annoying maths
topic ever. In the afternoon, though, we started preparing a primary maths
trail around the Cathedral area of Lincoln- and damned fun it was too.
"multiply
the number of circles on the east face by the number of sides on the
hobbit hole to your right" and stuff like that. Top fun, can't wait to put
it into practice.
Friday, more of the same, scrotum included.
Saturday, fucking depressing myself at work. It wasn't as bad as previous
weeks but that place really is a grade 1 pain in the arse to work at. It's
grotty, it stinks of stale fag smoke, the entire things needs ripping out
and starting again, or better yet, torching and collecting the insurance
money. And it's always either old people or chavs. GET ME OUT OF
HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, ditto except I also watched nine episodes of Phoenix Nights with
my Aunt and Uncle. Top stuff.
Tomorrow, it's my Nan's funeral, so normal service will be sort-of
suspended for the day, then college/school all week, topped off by work at
the end.
Roll on the holidays, for shite's sake!
#1 Thought of the Day
Shit thinking for now, too knackered.
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
Currently Playing: Fahnn "Getting
Closer" because Fahnn can also
ward off urinary tract infections!
Monday, it was my Grandmother's funeral, which I wasn't exactly
super-cheerful at as you might imagine, but I was pleased that we gave her
the send-off she deserved, even if the choice of hymns was... well, a
little eccentric, let's say. Having "You shall go out with joy" as the
last hymn may sound inappropriate for a funeral but oddly enough, it is
what people must do- be happy and thankful for the lives of the departed,
and move on. "Land of Hope and Glory" was an odd choice, though.
Didn't
Scrabble that night, as you might imagine.
Tuesday, was in college, working out more maths trail and this Maple
thing.
Wednesday, was back in school with the ankle-biters, once again confirming
everyone's suspicion that precisely no one in the first year can be arsed
with this block placement. It's poorly timed, it's a burden, and it
distracts us from the more important assessed assignments. And I've got a
whole fucking week next week...
Thursday: see Tuesday
Friday: see Thursday
Saturday: more chavs and useless old bastards in the paper shop, joy of
joys. And
I have that back-to-back with the school placement as well.
I am
seriously going to jack that job in very soon, it's a complete pile of
wank.
Sunday: see Saturday.
This week's entry was short because my head was being fucking well done in
big-time.
#1 Thought of the Day
FUCK THINKING.
Monday, May 2nd, 2005
Currently Playing: Fahnn "getting
Closer" because Fahnn can
evidently see the future and stop terrorist activity in its tracks.
Monday, back at scrabble following a day in school that I've pretty much
erased from my memory, I was that shattered at the end of it all. Didn't
do too badly, went 2-1 on the night and lost to Teresa Hill in a
painfully-played game- stepladders all over the bloody place.
The
scrabbler's equivalent of swimming through concrete. Ah well, I'm off to
Bourne this Sunday so all should be well then, especially if I'm still
seeded in the top division, anyway!
Tuesday, half-tought my literacy lesson in school. Couldn't really tell if
they were getting it or not as my eyes had kind-of glazed over long before
then. Got so much to do college-wise it's unreal, the assessment of the
lessons can simply roger themselves as far as I'm cared.
So tired I'm barely coherent after only 5 minutes of
Fahnn.
Fucked.
Wednesday, see above, only replace "literacy" with "numeracy".
Thursday, had my first tackling of teaching ICT in school using these
brilliant "Roamer" robots- you tell them to go forwards and backwards and
turn a certain number of degrees, they're brilliant things, they really
are. Logo is still cool, though, and I impressed the kids at the end by
using it to draw a star on the screen.
Friday, same thing only slightly less bright kids (and they were supposed
to be the slightly more bright ones, which is worrying.
)
Saturday, that stinking hole of a paper shop with the completely fucking
brain-dead manager.
The paper
kids had gone in in the morning- after having had their wages slashed,
incidentally- and asked to be paid prior to going on their rounds. The
brain-dead manager refused. The paper kids insisted. The manager locked
them out. The paper kids went on strike.
FOR
FUCK'S SAKE!!!! THEY ARE 13 AND 14 YEAR-OLD KIDS AND YOU SUBJECT THEM TO
THE SAME CORPORATE BULLSHIT I'M INFLICTED WITH ON A DAILY BASIS? Arse!
I really,
really support the paper kids on this one. Yes, it's the manager's shop,
but only temporarily, and forcing the paper kids to do exactly as she says
will not work, there must be compromise on both sides, and pissing
off a load of rowdy teenagers isn't going to accomplish anything!
Eventually, it was the sales staff who had to do a lot of the work.
Same applies for Sunday as well. Sales do all the deliveries, do tons of
admin such as envelope stuffing (NOT IN MY FUCKING JOB DESCRIPTION!!!) and
stock re-labelling, and this demented bitch has the gall to claim
that she has been rushed off her feet!!!!!!
We need
Andy (the good manager) back and speedily, this is getting intolerable.
Already one supervisor has quit rather than work with her any longer-
unfortunately for me, it was the supervisor I worked with usually, meaning
more shite and useless manager.
God,
almost makes me wish I was still working for
Boris Johnson's little sister...
Monday, today, I stayed in all day, watched Star Wars and did some college
work. Why
did today have to feel like so much of a holiday?
#1 Thought of the Day
Roll on the end of term, and quick!
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
Currently Playing: Fahnn "Disco
Attack Force" because Fahnn is
the source of a new herbal relief for genital warts!
Right, on with the Neblogging...
Tuesday brought with it college work, maths and more maths. I knacker
myself out doing it, and forget all about it, rendering myself unable to
Neblog it.
Wednesday was my day off, on which I get roped in to help my mum shift
furniture. So much for my fucking day off.
(Incidentally, "Getting Closer" by Fahnn is now playing on my wmp. If I'd
dallied two minutes more, it'd have been the Neblog music three weeks in a
row. )
Thursday, back at college, I manage to finish off a major maths project,
writing 1500 words in an afternoon and seriously flattening my skull in
the process. Still, it's done, and that's the key thing.
Friday, I aim to finish the other one too, and miss quite drastically as
our work, which was supposed to start at 1:15pm, gets horrendously put
back as the class would not stop debating with the maths lecturer, meaning
we eventually start at 2:05, knackered and about as mentally willing as me
at 6:15am on any given morning. Still, we got a good amount of it done.
Friday night, I vegetated.
Saturday, at work for the last time with the most useless and incompetent
manager ever. Not only that, but I could feel my rage boiling over at the
thick and pointless cunts that seemingly infest this town I live in.
Moronic
twats who don't seem to realise that, once I've asked for money and put my
hand out, that I might actually want the money to go in the hand.
Or the people who see me behind the counter I'm not usually at, so assume
that I'm standing there for my own health and queue at the other till
anyway.
Or the moronic cuntfaced pricks who just thrust an arm filled with money
into your face before you've even put the fucking transaction through,
and KEEP THE DAMN THING THERE UNTIL YOU DO!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!
CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!
This
is why I hate retail and customer service work- because all
customers are brain-dead cunting twatfaced fuckwads. I swear if I hear the
phrase "lucky dip" one more time I'll rip some fucking arms out.
And, as
if that wasn't bad enough, 5pm finally comes, I tell my manager that I'm
off, she says (oh, I thought you were on until 5:30pm today, can you stay
another 15-30 minutes please?"
ARGH!!!!!!!!! I swear, I was just about ready to take a swing
at her at that point. It was fucking 5:40pm before I finally
escaped. Thank god the usual (competent) manager is in from next Monday
onwards.
Sunday, all is forgotten and I'm off to Bourne to play scrabble. And yes,
I did still remain in the top division!
First
game: Nick Deller, rated 168. Happy to say that Nick doesn't intimidate
me, but he does prove why he's rated 168 and pulls out a good 70-point
win. Not too flustered, and happy to have played well against Nick (aside
from missing CANKERS for 107 which would have narrowed the spread a bit,
but not given me a win), I look at the fixtures for round 2. And there it
is: "B. Wilson vs. R. Byers". That'd be Russell Byers, Grand Master of the
game, former national champion and representative of England at the up and
coming world championships in London.
I actually don't play too badly, but am eventually overwhelmed 523-378-
and as yet I am still to play a bonus in the tournament. Up steps opponent
#3, Steve Balment, who you may recall I thrashed by 250 points a couple of
months back.
...Had to settle for a 70-point win this time out.
Even
though I had SKEF* challenged off the board (dunno what the hell I was
thinking of there)- my only successful challenge of the day- I get my
bonuses in, as well as a few others, and follow it up with a close 9-point
win over Teresa Hill to take me to a level 2-2 record. A further win over
147-rated Margaret Pritchett to take me to 3-2 and a positive points
difference (erm, +2
), my
target for the day.
A couple
of cock-ups in my final game cost me a fourth win, but I'm happy with 3
wins- I've shown I can play at an A-division level, and I intend to do it
again on a regular basis!
Final
record: 14th place out of 26, 3 wins out of 6, points difference -59.
Tournament performance: 157. Me happy.
No club tomorrow as I need to get my brain back inside my skull.
#1 Thought of the Day
Hmm... I wonder what a 160 rating would feel like...
Sunday, May 15th, 2005
Currently Playing: Elvis Presley "Suspicious Minds" because
Fahnn will still dominate Currently
Playing even when they ain't on wmp!
Oky dokily, this week in a small shell of a nut...
Monday, slept in for the first time in shitting ages. Did a bit of college
work while I was at it but simply relished the chance to get some extra
kip for the first Monday in as long as I can remember... Didn't scrabble
as was still a bit knackered from my mid-table placing at Bourne the day
before, but I am playing a lot more on ISC nowadays, gaining 9-1 and 7-0
records over the likes of Jono and
Stitcher.
Tuesday, much of a muchness, except for one small detail- I get a call
from the BBC inviting me to an audition for the Weakest Link in Lincoln on
the 25th!!!!!
Fuck
yeah! I've been waiting for this for, like, two whole years (I first
applied around the same time as the champion of champions in 2003) and it
has re-affirmed my faith in the BBC.
Sadly, it
does clash with the Countdown debut of
Anthony Endsor (him in the
foreground), but that's what the timer record on my video (aka my Mum) is
for!
Wednesday, had a tutorial with Mike my education studies tutor, about what
to expect in the exam (a question we should answer easily, touch wood),
and the presentation (I might actually want to consider making a start on
it sometime soon
). All in
all, it was helpful, hopefully I'll be walking out of year 1 with a nice
and sizeable mark...
Thursday, handed in my maths coursework, thus unburdening myself of more
burden college-wise- not long to go now until everything is done and I'm
looking at a four-month recreation (erm, scrabble study, just in case
Holden is reading this) stretch!
Friday, aside from a mild case of
fucked, I made a start on essay prep,
which basically consumed the whole weekend, aside from a few matters...
Saturday, I was not working with the useless manager! This one actually
knew what he was doing and not only that, did it as well!
I was
bloody astonished after the nightmare few weeks I'd had, I was even
violent toward any customers!
And, as if that wasn't good enough...
1-0 to the mighty Imps!!!!!
Oh
yes! 'Ave it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One step
closer to Cardiff, and one step closer to League One! This time next
season... we should have escaped relegation from League One!
Sunday, worked with one of the funniest guys ever in the paper shop,
telling me of all his exploits when he was school ("gas tap + lit splint=
instant flamethrower!") along with some great anecdotes, like how a shop
manager's 16-year old daughter is desperate to climb in the sack with him
(he's 25), and how the manager is actually encouraging them!
Madness,
I was actually sad to leave the shop for the first time in ages, which
says a lot!
Oh, and I finished off my prep for t'exam tomorrow, and not before time-
the sooner it ends, the better.
#1 Thought of the Day
It would be nice if some people other than TA Rob
replied to my fucking messages on the college forums...
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
Currently Playing: Fahnn "Aqua Regia"
because Fahnn is truly the king
of my waters!
Damn... eight whole days to report on today. Okay, might as well make a
start...
Monday was involved with the education studies exam first thing in the
morning, and I pissed all over it. Hammered down all the ideas and quotes
from my notes, and even found time to have a quick snooze mid-exam.
To "clear
my mind", though, naturally...
Got home,
did a little bit of online scrabbling, and all was well with the world at
my desktop.
Nothing
was
fucked.
Tuesday, did college work, watched TV, vegetated.
Wednesday, see Tuesday.
Thursday, decided to do a wee bit of revision for the maths exam on
Friday, figuring it couldn't hurt.
Friday: took said exam and wazzed all over it from a height of several
thousand kilometres, surprising really given that the rest of the class
despised the exam with a vengeance. Ah well, sometimes it just all comes
to you at the same time. And let's not forget, confidence is half the
battle won.
Saturday, in work with the same guy from Sunday, so it was actually
tolerable for once, except for the fact that the entire administrative
area of the shop had been left in absolute chaos, so he, rather than his
usual genial self, was fuming at everyone and everything. Not massively
brilliant, especially not when you're in customer service (and god only
knows, I should know about that) but it all got done in the end.
That,
and...
THE IMPS ARE GOING TO CARDIFF!!!!!!!!
Yeah! FUCK yeah! 1-1 against Macclesfield away books us our
place in the play-off final against Southend- let's be having a win this
year, okay?
That made
my day so much I didn't even mind working on Sunday.
Today, I have been mostly finishing off my presentation I have to make in
college tomorrow (about vocational routes in education- boring stuff, but
I should be able to spice it up a little. Hope so, anyway) and playing on
my newly-acquired Super Nintendo (see collection for the details) and
watching: Team America: fuck yeah!
What a
film.
#1 Thought of the Day
Assessment weeks are almost over... assessment weeks
are almost over...
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
My
grandfather passed away on Saturday morning at around 11am following a
prolonged battle against emphysema. As with my Nan, it had been expected
(he'd been back and forth to hospital a lot in recent weeks) but still it
hit like a hammerblow, as you might anticipate. He was 74 years old-
average age, but if he hadn't been taken ill so violently, he could have
lived a good decade more. He is survived by his three children- Sandy (my
"father"), Alice and Neil Jr; five grandchildren- Kevin, Stephanie (my
brother and my sister), Vicky, Ben (my cousins) and myself, and by four
great-grandchildren- Ariana, Dominic, Lewis and Piper (my niece). See you
around, Granddad.
Lincoln also lost the play-off final on Saturday. All in all, it was a
pretty shitty day, wasn't it?
#1 Thought of the Day
All of my grandparents are now in heaven... I know
they're making it a better place.
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