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GN Reviews
Dead Or Alive 4- Xbox 360
Reviewed by Nebagram, February 3rd 2006
Breasts. Titties. Jubblies. Norks. Bazoos. Wahungas. Whatever you call them, when you think of Dead or Alive, you inevitably think of women with huge tits jiggling all over the place. Not that I have any moral objection with that, mind you. To be fair, there is a game in there as well. I played Dead or Alive 2 on Dreamcast religiously at points. It was easily second-choice beat-em-up on the DC, and given the pedigree on that console (expect a few classic reviews soon, like, tomorrow), that says a lot. DOA2 on the Dreamcast ruled the school. However, I'm not reviewing DOA2, I'm reviewing DOA4, and therein lies the problem- Tecmo seem to have taken DOA2, added a few new characters, still not bothered with English voice-acting (I will never get used to At this point I should inform you that I've never played DOA3, being someone who never really gave a shit about the original Xbox. It's on the list though, so expect a DOA series overview soon! That's not to say that DOA4 is a bad game. Oh no, it is by far the best beat-em-up on the 360, albeit by default. In multiplayer, there are some fast, intense battles- single player, though, kinda lets it down. As I mentioned before, Tecmo seem to have programmed the brain of Bruce Lee himself into this game, such is its propensity for knocking seven shades of shit out of you. The "interesting" function of the guard button (um, most of the time it, like, doesn't) also adds some vinegar to the wound while spitting in your face, hitting you with an 8-hit combo you can't block and then kneeing you in the groin for good measure. The interactive, changeable backgrounds are good, but having been spoiled by Mortal Kombat: Deception, I can't help but feel a little let down. Story mode also leave a lot to be desired- DOA4 achieves the impressive task of making the stories in Tekken look deep and complex. As with PGR3, when talking about graphics and sound, remember we're playing this on a console that could probably beat Data from Star Trek at Chess, Go and Scrabble simultaneously. Of course they're going to rock. If you're looking for a one-player scrapper you can hammer away at for hours at a time, look elsewhere. DOA4's strength relies on its crisp, superb multiplayer mode. Might I recommend a PS2 and Soul Calibur 3 for all your isolationist scrapping needs. Though if you want to stare at women with big, bouncing tits... Soul Calibur 3 has them too! Not the best game on the 360 by any stretch of the superlative, but worth a look if you're a DOA fan (and I don't mean DOA as in Pete "Swamp Thing" Burns. Yes, I had to get that joke in somewhere. yes, I'll get my coat). And big props to Tecmo for giving Bass the F-5. :-) Back I know how fond you are of hidden messages, so here's your chance to use one that actualy benefits the design. All it need to be is a message with no breaks or paragraphs that will take up a long space, about as long as this message actually. Word Word Word.
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